“Intensely selfish people are always very decided as to what they wish. They do not waste their energies in considering the good of others.”
-Ouida, Wanda, Countess von Szalras
“Love is always ready to deny itself, to give, sacrifice, just in the measure of its sincerity and intensity. Perfect love is perfect self-forgetfulness. Hence where there is love in a home, unselfishness is the law. Each forgets self and lives for others.
But where there is selfishness it mars joy. One selfish soul will destroy the sweetness of life in any home. It is like an ugly bush in the midst of a garden of flowers. It was selfishness that destroyed the first home and blighted all the loveliness of Paradise; and it has been blighting lovely things in earth's home ever since. We need to guard against this spirit.”
Many people I know have expressed how strange the world climate is to them right now. No doubt I can understand how they might feel, but I’ve just crawled out of living for 3 years with my own personal virus of sorts. I’ve been distanced and self-quarantined, and made cautious decisions. Facing the virus is nothing to me. I don’t say that recklessly - it’s just that I learned to accept the end.
Because of that climate, I have been contained at home with my daughter for several days. She has taken some of this time to reflect on the past. That type of reflection is a dangerous thing for me. It is full of beauty and wonder and all sorts of adventure. We have certainly had a wonderful life together! Those fabulous memories can trigger a bit of sadness.
The virus will run its course and will carelessly destroy the sweetness of life for some. It will waste no energy considering the good or health of anyone it decides to inhabit. I suppose this is an understandable trajectory for an entity that exists to “graze” on a host so, in this case, I can sort of understand that kind of selfishness. If the virus does kill us, I would guess that's bad news for it? It can no longer infect or replicate unless it has spread to another host.
When recalling memories of trips to the beach, or the mountains, or making waterslides with a hose hung over the top of the playset, or going to concerts, or simply hugging (and the list goes on and on) I cannot understand the inability of a person to be content. I guess that’s what a grazer does. It lives selfishly off of its host until it can find another to move on to - and then another and then another... A virus is incapable of experiencing joy.
It’s a crappy analogy. I just haven’t posted in days and these are some of the thoughts that have been playing around in my head (insert puzzled face emoji). It’s just when I think I’m completely over it, there is something that will remind me and that reminder will baffle me. I can choose to mull over it and start searching for answers that don’t exist or I can move on and listen to childish songs like today’s offering that bring a devious little grin to the corner of my mouth.
This is a beautiful pairing of two of my favorite artists. Miki Berenyi of Lush sings "Ciao!" with beautiful contempt and brattiness while Jarvis Cocker of Pulp sounds off with flippant arrogance and disinterest. It is an unsophisticated and brash breakup song. It should be noted that this doesn’t truly reflect my personal emotions - I have no intention of ever seeking the love of another…never ever again! If you’ve had the virus, perhaps you can sing this song to it (and I do mean COVID…not the one who broke your heart).