“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised."
Song of Solomon 8:6-7
I don't want to love her anymore. I want to forget her the way she forgot me. I don't want her haunting my dreams. I don't want to cry when I see an image of her. I don't want to long for her when I smell white amber in the air. I want to despise her the way she despises me. But, I cannot. No matter how hard I try, and no matter how much people tell me that I need to move on, she is still a seal upon my heart. That is an uncomfortable spot to be in.
Just today, painting my kitchen walls, I wondered, "Would she like the color I picked?" She was my day and night. When I admit this, I realize that I must have placed her in god-status. That's probably part of the reason it didn't work out. Perhaps I expected god-like results from her. I had my idea of what she should be and did not allow her to just be her.
Regardless, I carry her heart with me. I still love her. To resist is futile. To deny it is a lie.
E.E. Cummings - "I Carry Your Heart With Me"