In the days that I didn’t consider a broken heart, I loved a good heartbreak song. In the days that my heart was being pulverized by the woman I loved, I definitely loved a good heartbreak song. Now that I am far-removed from any affection for her, I can’t help it…I still love a good heartbreak song.
When Willie Nelson wrote,
“I'm writing a song all about you
A true song as real as my tears
But you've no need to fear it
'Cause no one will hear it
'Cause sad songs and waltzes
Aren't selling this year”
Of course he knew better! Sad songs are always gonna sell. I’ll buy ‘em if no one else does.
We would miss out on something if we never experienced this emotion. Ecclesiates 7:3 says, “Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure…”
I’m not talking about malignant sadness - or depression. That was a horrible time for me. I thought I’d never ever experience happiness again. That happiness only came when I embraced all the joy that was available for me to receive. My nature tends to be drawn in by sad things but I’m certain that depression no longer has the foothold it once did.
As joyful as I now am, I doubt I’d be revisiting the blog today if something had not tugged my heartstrings. I’ve been clear that locations, places, dates, smells, and other events/sensations still elicit the past and create pause that reflects on what “might have been”.
Walking downtown on my lunch break, I passed a woman sitting on a bench eating lunch. She was wearing the essential oil that my former used to wear - white amber. It was like a hornet sting. I walked passed her three times before deciding it was best for me to move on and best for her so she didn’t notice me and think I was a creepy lurker.
I spent the next fifteen minutes pondering my old life. I imagine folks walking past me noticed a man rambling to self and nodding his head.
Today’s offering is a cheesy rock ballad titled "The John Wayne" from the young Irish band Little Green Cars. Lyrically relevant to my life last year and in the moments after getting a strong dose of white amber.
A plastered smile on me would be masking truth. The sorrow I know has provided a path to real change in my life. So, I can listen to this song and feel the pain of being “shot down” but I’ll tap my foot and sing along with a smile.